Snippets from a wannabe filmmakers mind

Okk...now this is weird its the first time i am posting something publicly...Blog..what an invention?and my mind wanders to another great invention known as camera or what the Lumiere bros called the cinematograph...what a piece of work.I have neva touched a 35mm film camera but just being around it gives you a sense of power of creating your own world of being the creator.Yes you are right i want to be a filmmaker but i am different (yawn--everyone says that). No i swear i am different i don't want to be a steven spielberg or Ridley scott or even Martin Scorsese..then you would say i will take some hindi names like Raj Kapoor..Guru Dutt...Satyajit Ray...Austoush Gowarikar or Farhan Akhtar but no i don't even want to be like them...OK before your mind wanders towards Ramsay bros i don't want to follow any of the big names... I just want to be the creator...the power that camera gives you to act like God...though i am God fearing human i don't think anyone would miss such a chance.I neva realised the power of this tool until i made my first short film...i have to accept it was pathetic but than even Microsoft made many versions before launching Win 95 but once the film was made I realised it this is the thing i wanna pursue as my career (though I hate this word "career" but cant think of anything else)Then I wanted more and I landed a Assistant directors job with my best friends help (mind you resumes don't work in this industry only thing that works is contacts) so I got the job and was on cloud nine...I thought that it should be named as the best job but only before i went for the shoot.AD what a profile...10 days into the schedule and i think its the worst job where you have to do everything and still hear every one's galli. It is a job where u have to manage anything and everything u get frustrated..sick by people's attitude..the work load..u want to runway...u want a break...u miss ur friends...u cant eat properly..but then a ray of hope- when u look at others on the set everyone is so joyfully passionate (except for some lifelong unhappy souls). It looks like we all were small nuts and bolts in a big machine to churn out a fantasy world from our imagination...some worked as grease some were levers..while many other were gears supporting each other to work. Finally this machine will churn out a beautiful product known as movie...i know its shame to call it a product its more like a full grown baby whom u love whatever it does (i.e. flops or wins in box office) i know its getting a bit symbolical but for the final word on the experience as AD i think film making is all about putting this machinery together and pressing the start button...it all depends on how u join all this tools with experience, creativity and hard work...till then let me start my work on making this marvellous machine and creating my own baby